I have always heard of a child needing love and attention from their mother and father but in reality it is us mothers who love the attention from their little ones. I could be having the worst day but just a little smile or a giggle from my baby makes everything better.
So what do we do when we start to feel unwanted by our own child? This probably sounds more dramatic than how it actually turned out but believe me, it felt like my whole world was crashing down. Recently, my 11 month old son Isaiah has started to prefer his dad over me. I just wanted to say that I love the fact that my husband is receiving all this love, attention and time from Isaiah. It has given my husband a whole new look on fatherhood and I love the bond both of them have formed.
Isaiah had always been a mama’s boy, he was constantly glued to me, always wanted to be held by me, he cried if I left, he always wanted to sleep next to me and wanted to be cuddled by me but it all gradually stopped. I didn’t think too much of it at first, I just thought it was a phase and that it would only last a day or two. Days turned to weeks and then weeks turned to months but I just felt like it was getting worse. Isaiah wasn’t smiling at me, he didn’t want to be held by me, he didn’t want me to feed him, he just constantly wanted to be held by daddy. I was just left feeling confused and hurt, how could my own son not want me? How could someone I would move mountains for not want anything to do with me? I couldn’t help but question myself. Did I go wrong somewhere? Did I fail as a mother? Did I lack in anything, anywhere? I have never felt pain like that before, it was a constant sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I honestly felt so alone in all of this, I genuinely believed that I was the only mother who was going through this, but then reading about other mothers going through the same thing I was going through made me feel less guilty about the whole situation. Communication is key, communicating about how I was feeling with my husband also helped, his support meant so much to me. I put aside work, I put aside all those things that limited the time I spent with my son and just focused on Isaiah. Isaiah is obviously my primary focus but sometimes other tasks consume so much of your time and you end up missing out on so much valuable time, time you won’t get back.
Thankfully for me, Isaiah is completely over this phase and my child LOVES ME AGAIN! I’m kidding, I know he’ll always love me, I was just not ready for him to become so independent so soon. If you are going through something similar just know that it is just a phase and it won’t always be like this. We have just got to be patient and look at this phase as nothing but another milestone.